My Heart is Hurting...

I received an email yesterday morning for a prayer request for a family that I don't know. The family had a little boy about Lawyer's age that was struggling with a tumor that had taken over his sweet little body. When I read their Caring Bridge post (it's a blog of sorts for families that have serious illnesses/disease as a way to share what they are going through and to get support), my heart was so sad for them. I saw the pictures of their beautiful baby boy healthy and happy and then swollen and broken with disease. I cried, no I sobbed, for this family. All I could think of was, what if that were my child, what would I do, how would I feel? They asked for prayers since they were told their child might not make it but a few more hours....HOURS!!! And yet they were resolved to the fact that Jesus was calling their child home and I believe they were feeling that peace.

I'm so sad to say that after I was praying for a miracle, something, anything, to save their sweet boy, this child went home to be with the Lord yesterday afternoon.

I haven't been able to shake the sadness I feel for the family. I have tears as I type this. I looked at Lawyer yesterday after I received the news and thought, why am I sitting here on the internet when my child is full of life and wants to play? And it was with that thought that I got up from my chair, reached for my child and hugged him tight and told him I loved him. I did it because I know that's my blessing in life, my baby boy. And I did it for this family that can no longer do such a thing.

Last night, I kissed my little boy a hundred times over and told him I loved him just as much. I kissed his cheeks, his forehead and his pouty red lips while he was sleeping, whispering that I loved him. This morning, as Lawyer wanted me to carry him (a challenging feat since he's almost as big as I am) I was delighted and I squeezed him and kissed on him some more. I told Jason while I was holding him that I couldn't imagine waking up this morning and not getting the chance to see/talk/smell/hold/love on this child of ours. I couldn't imagine one day he's there and the next day no more.

The only joy is that this child, Cole was his name, that this family lost, is not hurting or suffering anymore. He doesn't have to be poked or prodded by unfamiliar people in unfamiliar hospital rooms. He's dancing and singing with Jesus as we speak and, after reading what the family wrote, I know that they know that too.

Please pray for Cole's family. And if you want to visit their Caring Bridge blog to send them encouraging words, please do so. I know that the family feels everyone's prayers.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/coleruotsala